Let your emotions be your guide
Like the Sat Nav in your car, your emotions guide you Home.
Every time.
Come what may.
Without fail.
But you’ve got to know how they communicate.
To learn the language of your soul.
Resisting painful emotions is natural. We tell stories — to ourselves, to others — repeatedly raking over the details, picking at the most painful parts.
We mull endlessly over our memories of hurt, rather than sitting, silent, with our least-loved emotions… Sometimes we rage against their very presence. As if they were some kind of failure, in our quest for a life with more joy…
I used to think ‘negative’ emotions indicated a dip, a step backwards. The merest hint of sadness signalled hopelessness and failure. I felt I had lost my way…
Now those painful emotions mean quite the opposite to me.
‘Negative’ emotions signal growth
Sadness, anger, grief et al, tell me I’m growing my capacity for Love.
(Love = unconditional love.)
It goes like this:
Contrast causes desire. When I’m feeling bereft, without Michael, I want to go Home, to be where he is, to feel how I always felt the minute he entered the room...
Desire causes (energy) expansion. My inner being/highest self is at Home, now, enjoying Michael’s presence, with no sense of separation.
Expansion creates a gap between my physical and energetic self. I’m out of kilter with who I really am, as I imagine myself ‘needing’ or in ‘lack’. It feels as though it’s because Michael’s ‘dead’. It’s actually because my Inner Being knows there is no death and I’m not up to speed with that knowing…
The gap creates pain through resistance. I am limiting the flow of Love from the expanded version of me until I catch up with what that Love is like. Like a tap part-closed. That’s painful. Focusing on the story increases the misery, but it is not the cause…
This pain (emotional or physical) is my best friend.
Energy is flowing faster as a result of the desire; the resistance comes from my limited, out-moded thinking which is resisting the Love I have summoned. I have to catch up with my fullest self, to enjoy it.
What kind of out-moded thinking?
Thoughts like:
I can’t feel at Home in this world without Michael.
I need his presence to feel loved, to feel whole.
Life is empty and pointless for me now…
Painful thought patterns tell me that, while I’m grieving, my fullest self is Loving the gifts of this experience. No matter what. That’s what unconditional love is, after all.
While I’m in despair at the thought of my missing soulmate, my inner being is revelling in its opposite.
She is feeling relief and ease and playfulness.
She is connected with Michael’s essence and his love.
My inner being is closer to my beloved than ever I have been… and she is calling me — through the anguish — to come, join her.
And I want that. Who wouldn’t?
When we are loving, we feel good. The more unconditional our love, the more of life we enjoy.
Choose Love and all of life is lovely
Are you up for expanding your capacity to Love in this glorious world of rich contrast? Loving unconditionally — more and more of the time — it’s a no-brainer if you want to be happy you came… no matter how badly life appears to be going…
This doesn’t mean loving the unlovable.
Or putting yourself in harm’s way.
Or embracing abuse…
It means making the most of the Law of Attraction: kayaking your desire-streams down to the sea… there’s more joy with every swish of your blade. You steer. You choose. You create…
A couple of analogies might help…
Upgrade required
When negative emotions surface, it’s like that message my phone gives when it’s asking for an upgrade.
New Operating System required, to tackle current reality.
It’s time to:
Switch the phone — mind/story — off.
Plug it into the main electrical source. Meditate
Leave it til the upgrade is done. Consciously focus elsewhere. Other topics. Let this one go…
Go screen-free for a bit. Get out of the story-brain by activating other zones.
Move.
Be practical.
Get absorbed.
Dance. Paint. Play.
Nap.
Read.
Chill.
Walk. Cook. Cycle.
Pet a dog. A cat.
Cuddle someone… or something… (My teddies get plenty of cuddling, now Michael’s not physically available…)
Leave the phone — the story that’s bothering you — alone…
Water level rising…
Catching up with my fullest self is like a narrow boat reaching water that’s higher than its current level.
In this analogy it’s time to:
Moor up in the lock.
Journal. Be conscious. Go to the emotions.
Welcome the negatives.
Anchor myself in awareness: the emotions are a sign of the growth-gap.
It’s not the story that’s causing them.
It’s the need to rise to the next level of Love…
Be still.
Meditate. Return to this moment.
No future. No past. No story. No need.
Here, now, perfect, whole and complete, I am…
Allow the water to rise as the sluice gates open.
Be gentle with myself, remember, there’s nothing for me to fix or figure out…
Wait til the water level is sufficient to move on.
Give time.
Reassure myself… it’s ok, I’m catching up with my fullest self.
She’s got this.
Relax, enjoy the scenery…
Find some soothing focus and breathe…. and breathe….
Remember: I’m not responsible for raising the level.
There’s no need to race off for buckets of water. It’s all done for me.
Be still and let it happen.
What relief flows from viewing negative emotions this way!
No muss, no fuss, no fretting, no judgement.
No castigating myself for being at the threshold of a whole new level of life experience.
I’m just catching up with myself. Embracing my expansion. Ready for a whole new level of Loving life…
Negative emotions are growing pains…
Contrast signals expansion, not disaster.
But you’ve got to let go of the storyline to allow the energy — the OS / water level — to rise.
We are creatures of contraction and expansion. Once we get the hang of how to catch up with the fuller version we’ve created, it’s easier to embrace the next contraction. We can see through it, to the expansion to come.
Be kind to yourself, Dear One. You’re doing beautifully, just to be here.
If you’d like help, book in. Why wait?
Wherever you are,
you are always in the perfect place
to reach for a little more joy.
Acknowledgement: My blogs, my coaching and my life are founded on many wondrous teachings, particularly those of Abraham-Hicks.