Rest May Seem Impossible

It's not

I never tire of painting the sea - gulls inspired by a friend’s stunning photograph.

If rest feels impossible right now, let’s not tackle the topic head on.

A life spent in hyperdrive fries the nerves. The last thing we need is to be told to rest when we can’t imagine how, when or if we will ever rest again.

Let’s sneak up on the idea of rest, it might be easier that way.

Let’s start with thoughts of beauty…

Something beautiful

Google tells me

a sloth can hold its breath
under water for 40 minutes
master of metabolism
it can slow its body functions to such a degree that
water becomes
refuge;
the jaguar must seek
a different feast…

Sinking into deepest rest when under threat - that’s beautiful to me.

I found it hard to know ‘rest’. It felt foreign to rest without feeling I’d earned it. I rarely felt I’d worked enough for that.

To know rest. Learn its language, hear it speak, let it invest its energy in me… receive, without hope of repayment. That seemed impossible then.

In those days, my parasympathetic (rest) system was a stranger to me.
Meeting it at the end of an out breath was a life-saving encounter.

And boy, did I need it!

Now, rest is
friend,
guide and
counsellor.

Now I can spend
a whole day
doing as I please
and
know
I’ve made
a tax-free, exponentially
appreciating investment
in life.

Now I can stop,
wait,
listen for my
next inkling - and
follow it,
relish, enjoy…

Something useful

When our sympathetic system is a tad overactive, we know how to bring ourselves Home.

We stop. Breathe. Focus thoughts on this moment.

No thoughts of future,
no thoughts of past,
no story,
no need…

Just breathing in…
and breathing out and out and out…

Breathing out and out and out, to the end of the out breath… stopping there a moment - sloth on river bed…

Here’s where the sympathetic releases its hold.
Mind slows.
Chatter stops.
Jaguar stalks other prey.

Sometimes we place a hand on our heart as we breathe
breathe in…
breathe out and out and out… .

Love - liquid love* -
floods every cell and sinew.

That’s a hug we can count on.

Hand on heart; that’s all it takes to trigger relief.
Our physiology conspires to refresh us.

*They call it oxytocin, but we know it’s much, much more…

Something easy

It’s NOT easy to rest when we are told to; when we know it’s good for us but we’re totally overwhelmed; when sinews are rigid with tension.

It’s not easy to hear, “You need to rest,” from others without screaming, “Just HOW am I supposed to DO that?” in their face. (More than one district nurse came close to this experience as I was nursing my husband.)

Rest becomes easy when you remember WHY we’re doing it.

We rest, to feel good NOW.
In this moment.
Just that.
Only that.

That’s it.
In this one moment - the only moment there is - it feels good to let ourselves rest.

One moment is all it takes.

90 seconds of rest, right here, right now, is enough to make a difference. Because now is all there is.

Rest may seem impossible because we can’t imagine carving out time, space, permission for it.

But when we view life as a series of ‘now’s, resting for one ‘now’ moment changes the world. Resting for one moment is enough to bring us Home. Home to the constant, eternal energy at our core.

“… there is something within us that is never traumatised, something ever-present and trustworthy, something unbreakable, something that survives even the most intense sensations, that holds and releases trauma as the heart pumps its blood.”
- Jeff Foster, The Way of Rest

If we can rest in a 90 second break, we may ask, why don’t we? Why over complicate it? Why make it seem harder than it is?

One question may unlock the answer.

Do I deserve to rest?

If the answer is NO… it’s ok. We are where we are. We can reach for relief from anywhere.

(We avoid getting sucked into wondering why it’s a NO. That wondering only deepens the mire.)

The truth is:

We are allowed to feel good.

At our core, we know this is true. Even if our conditioning resists it, deep inside, we know. We are allowed to feel good. We are supposed to feel good. We can’t help trying to feel good.

If we are not allowing ourselves to feel good, then nothing great will follow, no matter what else we do. No matter how worthy the cause, it cannot be well served when we feel less than good.

If we’re not allowing ourselves rest, it’s time to get selfish. Selfish enough to say, come what may, “I’m having ninety seconds of rest today!”

Actually, we don’t need to ‘get selfish’. We already are selfish.

“Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope for a cure.”
- Jane Austin

We do what we do because we want to feel good. Or because the alternative would feel worse. But we are told that being selfish is bad, which messes us up big time.

We imagine we have to suffer for approval, to sacrifice for love. Which isn’t true. It’s just strong conditioning.

Being truly selfish - milking every moment to please ourselves - means setting ourselves up to be at our best.
Which means we are thriving.
Which means we find joy in all that we do.
Which means we give it the best of ourselves.
Which is a self who is rested, refreshed, focused, energised, eager, resourceful and so much more…

Don’t rest because you should.
Rest because you want to and you’re the one who matters.

Let’s try it. Let’s give ourselves this one moment together. Ninety seconds of rest.

Let’s stop,
roll our shoulders up, back, down,
open our chest,
as we
take a deep breath in…
sigh it out and out and out
and out and out and out…

If we like it, let’s do it again. How about three full breaths? Wouldn’t that be nice?

It feels like
relief
ease
freedom
expansiveness…

Always.

When we’ve allowed ourselves 90 seconds a few times in the day, we’ll start to notice a difference.

It will become easier to
enjoy wishes
carried on the breeze
and to stop,
right there on the pavement
close our eyes
and imagine
a dream of
a wish come true…

Rest may feel impossible. It is not.

But are we ready to give ourselves a break - even 90 seconds worth - and bank the relief? It accumulates with interest.

We definitely, DEFINITELY deserve it.

Resources: I’ve recently discovered Yoga Nidra and the Nidra nap. It’s a gorgeous way to use short breaks to rest. There are great guided sessions on YouTube.

Acknowledgements: My writing, my coaching, my life is founded on many great teachings, particularly those of Abraham-Hicks.